Happy New Year! Not only did I have the pleasure of spending Christmas in Hong Kong, but also New Year’s, and once again, HK really outdid itself. Being a major fireworks lover, I was more than delighted once I realized the rooftop party I was invited to had a decent view of the IFC and Hopewell Center — two of HK’s skyline’s most recognized buildings. The fireworks here are absolutely stunning – with coordinated and surprisingly tasteful fireworks shooting out from the various skyscrapers that make up Hong Kong. Seeing “2011” emblazoned down one side of IFC, I felt warm as I thought about what lies in store for me this new year.
Indeed so much has changed since coming to Hong Kong. The person I left behind in the Fall of 2009 is very different from the person I am now. Just the other day I had the oddest feeling — a feeling of normalcy, of all things. I realized I wasn’t feeling like a tourist here in Hong Kong anymore, but very much so like a resident. It just felt “normal” to be here, and I think the even bigger realization for me was just feeling “normal” at all, never mind that it was in Hong Kong.
Since leaving my full-time work-life in 2008, turning my attention to my family affairs, I lost that “normal” feeling. I was always struggling with something, and not sure how things would turn out. I often felt tired and sad.
Of course, I don’t really know how things will turn out now either. Even though I have a job, I know it’s not permanent (though I guess that is the case with just about every job), and who knows what I’ll be doing professionally next quarter or next year. I’m here in a foreign country having a relationship with another foreigner, and that in itself poses lots of new challenges I’d never faced before in the dating realm. Still lots of uncertainty around me, but I think what I also realized recently that a huge difference in my life these days it that I’m actually happy again!
I still think about sad things about Mom, but it’s nothing like the way it used to hit me before. Nor does it happen anywhere as frequently as it used to. I can easily say I would be sad about once a day for the longest time. Now, I can’t say what that is — maybe a few times a month, maybe less?
I feel like I have a kind of control over my own wishes that I lost for a long time; that I have the ability to see more clearly goals for me. Or maybe it’s all over-thinking. Whether there is a genuine substantive change or just a change in perception, I’m happy to accept it.
Happy new year everyone! Let’s all smile for 30 seconds to celebrate!